“I’m the best!”

This is reporter Kim. This time, I met with a career woman who is on a roll at work. While speaking with her, I envied her for a moment, but soon regained my composure and asked her some keen questions. Listening to her story, I found that it is difficult for successful people. But she says she is now excited even about copying, which she once thought was a chore. Here is the genuine talk about subtraction I had with this woman.


– Letter from the Editor

  • How many years have you been working?

I got my first job when I was 25 years old, so about 18 years.  

  • What kind of work have you done?

I’ve been working on personal credit information. You know, if you take out a loan from a bank or use a card, you’ll have to pay it back. Those who lend the money don’t know if a person will be able to pay it back or not, so they make a model of statistics based on a number of criteria, and they give applicants a score. So we make statistical models and strategies such as, ‘This person has a small percent chance of not paying back.’ and ‘This person can borrow’.

  • There’s a rumor going around that you’re talented and capable.

My nickname was the godmother of the credit industry. (Laugh) It was an unfamiliar field in Korea at the time of its inception, which coincided with Korea’s IMF Crisis. Most banks had to introduce a system for personal credit ratings. So I was completely absorbed in my work for six years after I joined the company. Working overtime was standard, and even while I went away for a week-long holiday for my marriage, I had to get one of my acquaintances from graduate school to fill in for me. I even had to go on a business trip right until the day before my baby was born.

  • Wow, you worked really hard.  

I couldn’t help it then. I had fun at work, but I also took responsibility and pride. At that time, I was the first person in the company to be chosen for the position that mostly went to males. It was due to the Equal Employment Law. I was the first test case. So when I started my career, one or more people told me every day, “You’re an example, and everyone is watching you.” (Laugh) I had to work hard because if I did something wrong, it would hinder the path for my succeeding females.

  • Anyway, you’re a career woman who’s been recognized at work and is on a roll, so it’s cool. I envy you. 

But that’s not everything. When I was working during those 6 years, I felt like I was suffocating. If you’re an assistant manager or above, you have to work through a lot of things with the people around you, but the problem was that they were not like what I thought. I especially had a lot of judgments about bosses. There was a boss who no matter how hard I tried to explain couldn’t understand, couldn’t make decisions, nor even cared about the work itself. I didn’t agree, so I moved to a different company and my new boss there was also incompetent. I talked to the president and he said, “He’d have nowhere to go. You guys can go anywhere, but I can’t fire him.” Later, I eventually quit the company because I couldn’t stand it. I wanted my opinion to be well accepted by my boss, but it was absolutely impossible.

  • It must have felt like everyone was the enemy blocking your way?

Yes, everyone was my enemy. So how difficult it must have been for me? My mind was so noisy that I wanted to organize it first. I went to the library for a meditation seminar, and when I heard that there was a method to empty my mind, I was intuitively drawn to it.

  • So, were you able to successfully get rid of your noisy mind?  

You know, this meditation is throwing away all of the life lived, fixed thoughts and habits. In my case, I threw away a lot of thoughts, standards, and mindsets about work. Such as ‘I have to work well’, ‘I have to think straight at this positon’. I had always looked at others’ weaknesses, but at some point I stopped doing that. I felt like I could breathe.

  • It is natural that everyone wants to win first place and do well. I don’t understand why those minds have to be thrown away?

There’s an old saying that one of the things you shouldn’t do in your 20s is succeed. I think I experienced that. I looked at others based on my own achievements, and I could not really see the reality. But as I got older, I my memory wasn’t as good as before and I couldn’t remember as quickly. My bosses must have been like that, and I realized there’s nothing I can do about it. They might have been sick, but I just thought they were lazy. I also thought it was natural for others to do as much as I did. How hard it must have been for others who I pushed so hard. But now my work has gotten much more interesting since my standards, such as I have to do well, be recognized and be ranked first, are gone.

  • Do you mean you’re living a happier life at work than before?  

My vision, which used to be as small as a needle-hole while meditating, has widened, and I can see what I’m doing wrong. In the past, I had a hard time with setting my goals too high. And if I failed, everyone was my enemy. Now I can truly see a person and his abilities. I mean, now I can set a realistic goal and help that person do well. So the chances of success are higher and the work itself is fun, so I’m thankful for all the little things such as copying. Knowing that everything has a reason and meaning, I’ve come to change my perspective on matters. I didn’t know what fun was during those times when I wanted to be recognized every moment and was happy only when the results were achieved.

  • In fact, it seems like office life is more emotionally exhausting and difficult than the work itself.

Oh, that’s right. But these days, young people seem to be more exhausted than we were. So they’re burnt out after year or two into their careers. Another situation is with my boss who even though he graduated from a prestigious university, I feel bad for him. He used to be a well-respected man in the company, but now he’s unappreciated. He doesn’t do the work that he has to. But he doesn’t recognize that it’s him that doesn’t work. He blames the company for not acknowledging him and for not recognizing him, and spends all his time shuddering over the loss. He remembers only when he was smart. The sad thing is that he doesn’t even know that he has to let go of that mind. He remembers only when he was smart. It’s quite unfortunate that he doesn’t even know that he has to give up that feeling. If I didn’t meditate, I would have been like him. You don’t know how lucky I feel.

  • So in conclusion, do you think we can be happy at work or not?

Everything we spoke about earlier has an answer, so look within yourself. (Laugh) Anyway, what I am trying to say is that rather than putting your life on the line to achieve your goal, accept the parts of yourself that you are lacking, help your fellow workers and get along with them. Don’t forget that you have to be happy in your work life to be happy in life. Let’s cheer up, office workers!

Source: maummonthly.com