This is guest Reporter Lee here. I met a warm-hearted, middle-aged photographer. He was snubbing his past self saying that because of his perfectionism, his desire to be better than others, and wish to be in the limelight, he made it difficult for all those around him. But these days, he often hears, “It’s comfortable working with you,” and he doesn’t forget to jokingly ‘brag’ about himself. “It’s a huge change,” he says. What happened to him? Here’s the genuiune story.

  • Was it your dream to be a photographer?

I majored in photography and worked as a photojournalist at a small magazine company. While there, I tried hard to move to a daily newspaper company. I met with the people at that newspaper company, bribed them, and obnoxiously demanded. But I didn’t get a chance. No, I thought that they didn’t give me a chance. So I quit the magazine company and opened a studio solely for weddings. I went into business with a wedding hall, and I just kept taking pictures. My prices were cheap, but I earned money by working a lot. As I kept working, I wanted to charge expensive rates too. I participated in the COEX wedding fair, and after that, I came to have clients who paid those expensive prices. In the process, I made it very difficult for the studio staff.

  • In what ways did you make it difficult for your employees?

I was a perfectionist. If the staff didn’t meet my standards, I nagged and chewed them out. I thought since we made a lot of money with many high-paying customers, my actions were justified. But the wedding guests kept asking, “Do you know photographer so and so? Who else do you know?” So I felt like I was just a cameraman. It was a self-defeating feeling. As more time passed, the more I didn’t want to take pictures. I didn’t want to meet people. If I think about it now, I think I was belittling myself for being someone who just takes wedding photos. It was hard. I didn’t feel the joy in living. Then, by chance, I started this meditation. As I meditated, I could see myself more and more. Behind my desire to show off and feel proud, I was holding onto an inferiority complex.

One day, I took my daughter on a trip to Washington and New York. As I was taking a picture, I suddenly thought, ‘I want to be a photographer who takes pictures of foreign countries.’ When I came back, I opened an exhibition with the pictures I had taken. And I called every magazine publisher, introduced myself, and asked them to buy my pictures. Then one of my pictures was sold to an airline’s in-flight magazine and that’s when I started getting noticed.

  • What do you think has changed with meditation?

Before, I used to talk a lot. I was busy showing off and pretending to be like this and that. In the past, I used to get upset a thousand fold whenever someone interfered or said something I didn’t like. As I meditated, I felt like I talked less. No matter what the other person said, I would respond, “Oh, I see.” and I just listened. I’ve changed my ways in dealing with people when I go abroad for work. For example, I thought Michael was wrong, but I was able to quickly realize and acknowledge actually I was wrong. So my relationships with people have improved and I have become a comfortable person to be around. It’s because, through meditation, I can view myself objectively. Before, I had been frequently chasing clients asking for work. But these days, it’s okay if I work or not. If I don’t have a film request, it’s great to have time for myself when I can concentrate on meditating more or brainstorming to improve.

  • Some people worry that if one discards one’s mind, one’s sense of art will disappear.

To be honest, there are a lot of standards for taking pictures. For example, the idea that it doesn’t work this way because of reverse light or because it can’t be split down the center. But now there are no such limitations in my mind. So I just shoot whatever I want. No matter how I shoot it, it’s all art. Of course, I shoot according to what the other person wants. But when it comes to my pictures, I take them the way I want. When I take pictures that I’m happy with, the pictures turn out very comfortable for the viewers. Rather than being stuck in my own world and crowing about how cool it is, I think real art is when there are many people who enjoy it for a long, long time. My mindset and the way I look at other people’s work has also changed. When I see someone who has taken a dark and dull photo, before I would judge harshly. But now, without my judgmental thoughts, I just think, ‘Oh, that guy perceives it like that.’

When it is said that something will be thrown away, I used to be afraid that there would be nothing. But after meditating, what I definitely realized was that as much as I had emptied my mind of my fixed framework and thoughts, that much wisdom and a wider mind filled its place. I should shoot photos to be one with the world. It would be meaningless for me to turn my back on the world and become famous and great all by myself.

  • Awesome. I think you’ve become a better person, both as an artist and as a human being.

I was meditating in level three when I felt it: everything that has happened to me so far like not getting into the daily newspaper company, becoming a wedding photographer, and going to New York was in order to get me to meditate. After meditating and realizing that my origin is the universe, I could understand from the perspective of the universe. The universe doesn’t show off, doesn’t pay attention to what others think about it, and doesn’t pretend. Perhaps that’s why these days I hear, “I’m comfortable working with you.” Before that, no matter where I went, there was always something lingering in my mind. Whether I did something wrong or well, those minds remained inside me. So I’ve always felt awkward. But I’m glad I don’t have that anymore. Now, I’m just grateful to all.


Source: www.meditationlife.org