“I knew I was a teacher, too.”
There is a female teacher who was so scared of the students. With her small physique, she had difficulty dealing with today’s rough high school students. So, she scolded her students with a stiff face. And every school vacation she prepared to change jobs. But after meditation, she has been learning the rewards and joys of education. She is a happy teacher, proud of her students, and didn’t know how quickly 13 years has passed. Here is the pleasant ‘Subtraction Talk’ I had with her.
- Did you want to be a teacher since you were young?
No, I went to university according to my grades and it somehow just turned out that way. But once I really became a teacher, I realized it wasn’t for me. I was under so much stress that my immune system weakened and I was exhausted every day.
- Is that so? Isn’t it a job that everyone envies?
People envy teachers because they get school vacation days and they don’t have to worry about getting fired. However, I just endure because my pay day is every 17th and the vacation days. At first, I hated the idea of being like a teacher because to me the image of a teacher was meticulous, conservative, and uninteresting. When someone asks me, “Are you a teacher?” I reply, “What? Me? Why? Do I look like a teacher?!” with a straight face. (Laughs). Students these days think less of teachers than friends and look down on them.
- Where do you work?
I am at an agricultural high school. There are many students who are from broken homes or are neglected by their parents. I never understood the students who drank and smoked with their friends. They seemed to live without standards and they seemed to live life too freely. To be honest, I wondered if there would be any fun in teaching them. From the day of their entrance ceremony they chewed gum and wore slippers and athletic clothes. When I left work, I saw them drinking, getting drunk, breaking glass and running with blood running down their arms. Wow, I had a mental breakdown. It was terrible. Trying to look intimidating, I frowned and never smiled at the students. I also signed up at a Taekwondo academy. However, I quit once I thought I couldn’t use this to control students. They later said that I wasn’t scary at all.
- That’s the atmosphere like of the class you’ve always wanted?
I wanted a warm atmosphere where students obeyed their teachers and gave drinks to their favorite teachers. I thought teachers created exam questions and supervised students with ease. However, the reality of being a teacher was that was more paperwork than actual class time. And I had a lot to do in guiding the students in life, and it seemed like the work was coming only to me. I couldn’t take a break because it felt as though there was a ticking clock in my body. In my own way, I pretended to be a good person who could ‘control her life’ and so I even joined the mountain climbing club and worked on my self-development. But weekend happiness is short lived and when I got back to school, I was still stressed.
- Did your thoughts about school life change after meditating?
I began to meditate in my fifth year of my teaching career, and I found that I had developed a great sense of authority in that short five-year-period. The students’ tone of voice and actions really got under my skin if they didn’t meet my standards. And I tried to be treated with respect as ‘I am the teacher’. I threw away all those mental standards and conceptual frameworks. I gave up pretending to be the role model, pretending to be positive, and my minds of difficulty trying to be that way. I also threw away the minds of not wanting to work and not wanting to go to school. After that I felt at ease. There was no need to appear strong. As my mind broadened, I naturally first thought about the happiness of the students and started to first look at their strengths. The students at our school are not egocentric and are pure. Although they seem rough, it is good that they are honest. And they enjoy the present moment not only by studying, but also by helping with household chores and being good to their friends. If they want to play, they play. If they want to do something, they do it. Watching them, I learned a lot.
- Then do you not frown at school these days?
It’s completely the opposite. I laugh like a fool. I have no stress. If there is a student who talks to me recklessly, I discard my negative feelings about the student. Then the next day I can always greet them with a bright smile and express my love with a clear, formatted mind. If I still have minds about a student, I cannot think objectively and cannot teach well. I’m sure when the student doesn’t like the teacher he doesn’t want to reflect on himself. However, when we know that there are no negative emotions about each other, it’s easy for me to scold him and he also quickly returns to normal. I tell my students a lot, ‘The reason why you go to school is not to get into a good university, to earn money, but to be happy. If you only think about yourself, life gets hard. And as those around you are also ‘you’ take good care of your friends.’
- Did the students recognize your change right away?
There was one student who I was in charge of for two years. He lived in a shelter, was close-minded and never expressed himself. But at the time of his graduation, he said, “Other teachers say you are consistent. I really think so too. Even if us students give you a hard time, you always laugh. It must be tiring for you, what’s wrong with you? I don’t want to be like you, but on the other hand I want to be like you.” An immovable student like him said that with tears in his eyes; it was very moving. I feel that education takes more than two or three years to work. Also, I feel that teachers should not give up because a student is impossible and that we should show patience and constant love. Then, students seem to change by themselves.
- Oh, I’m touched. The atmosphere in your class must be great these days.
To be honest, I think my class is better. This is because my students often do the meditation of throwing away their minds. A teenager’s friend is his or her entire life. However, if they are singled out, bullied or cannot adjust at school, they drop out and suffer to the point it feels as if they are about to die. At that time, adults will not be trifled with the child and just think things will get better with time so they will leave things as it is. Then no one knows what sporadic action the child might take. That’s when I get the child to meditate, so that those minds quickly disappear and the child’s idea of this hell-like existence and escaping from it goes away. I often see them laughing again at school.
- What would you like to say to teachers who are struggling and thinking of switching jobs?
Of course, there are many great teachers in the world. But on the other hand, when a teacher doesn’t know why he goes to school and what he has to teach students, then in that situation, he just enters the classroom when the bell rings. And there are many teachers who will live enduring until school vacation. But no matter what, a teacher should have a vision about the school and students in order to be a true teacher. Also, I think a teacher should be happy that he can help make students happy. Once a teacher arrives at school, it is hard to stop and pause and so it is easy to just ‘Go!’ But you’d better stop and reflect back on yourself. So, I hope that you can feel good about your students’ growth and lead a stress-free teaching career.
Source: maummonthly.com
